The Reservation’s Ten Commandments /As Given By The United States of America

The Reservation’s Ten Commandments Dec 13, ’08 9:15 PM
by Ann for everyone

The Reservation’s Ten Commandments

As Given By The United States of America

 

1. You shall have no other forms of government before me.

 

2. You shall not make for yourself an independent and self-sufficient

government, for I am a jealous bureaucracy and will punish the Indian

children for the sins of their fathers to the seventh generation of

those who hate me.

 

3. You shall not misuse my name or my symbols, for I will impale you on

my flagpole.

 

4. Remember the first of each month by keeping it holy. The rest of the

month you shall go hungry, but the first day of each month is a tribute

to me, and you shall receive welfare checks and commodity food in

exchange for your continued dependence.

 

5. Honor your Indian father and Indian mother because I have stripped

them of their land, language, and hearts, and they need your compassion,

which is a commodity I do not supply.

 

6. You shall not murder, but I will bring FBI and CIA agents to your

reservations and into your homes, and the most intelligent, vocal, and

angriest members of your tribes will vanish quietly.

 

7. You shall not commit adultery, but I will impregnate your women with

illegitimate dreams.

 

8. You shall not steal back what I have already stolen from you.

 

9. You shall not give false testimony against any white men, but they

will tell lies about you, and I will believe them and convict you.

 

10. You shall not covet the white man’s house. You shall not covet the

white man’s wife, or his hopes and opportunities, his cars or VCRs, or

anything that belongs to the white man.

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