WHILE HANGING OUT IN LA
Dan, Antonio and moi were invited to a social gathering in Insaneo, I mean Encino. It’s the home of the producers of the up coming film Woodpecker Waltz, Max and Micheline Keller. There is no need to tell you how exclusive their neighborhood was or the fact it had a bazillion dollar view of the San Fernando Valley. The view was to die for and if I did not pay attention, I would have fallen off the balcony.
We were met by Grand Ma Herskovic Max and Michelin. Again, here I be without a clue as to who was who. I knew I should have bought a People Magazine before we got there. At least I would have had a clue as to what some of these folks were famous for. At least Andy Rooney and his mad briefcase was not there. Must have gotten lost on the 405 and ended up in Bakersfield. Bet he was miserable driving all around Bakersfield looking for Mich’s home.
Wish Carole, my editor and dominatrix, had my blog up and running since I have a few pictures to share as well. Of course, I brought my Sharpe Marker and made sure to draw up an ad for NativeVue in the John wall. I even included Carole’s phone number and it states; “For a good time call Carole at 1-900-CAROLE”. No need to thank me Carole and just so you know, I advertised in all the Can’s I used across America this trip. Just check out a Flying “J” Truck Stop, well their bathrooms.
Anyway, Max was busy cooking up a storm. His specialty was Paella, a Spanish dish that included lobster, every shell fish known to man, crab and a host of other goodies from the sea. It was totally awesome and I wish I brought my Tupperware since I had already loaded up my Wal-Mart Bags with 7 containers. The Tres Amigo’s chowed down like there was no tomorrow. We had to since all them folks from the Pages of People were wolfing it down like they came straight off the rez. There was almost a fight when some French actor stole the last lobster. I almost grabbed it when his girlfriend tackled me just before I got it. His name is Pierre and actually he was a nice guy and we had a very good chat, except for the lobster incident. But man, that Paella was the bomb and it did me good to watch as the Hollywood elite chowed like us Injuns. Food was flying, Bon Appetite.
Dan, Antonio and I found a spot to sit where we could watch THEM since we knew they would eventually gang up on us and steal our Paella. Then as if on cue, THEY began to come to our table. Dan called it the PTSD table since I always get a table in a corner so I can watch the crowd and have my back covered. And with this Paella, I was not taking any chances. There was a retired judge who was quite impressed with Dan’s script since she used to dole out the death penalty from time to time. Holay, she was drop dead gorgeous. She was absolutely brilliant and I enjoyed our conversation. I could have talked with her all night long since I am fascinated by perspectives from all quarters in life and she had a vantage point I never would have had the chance to explore. I called her the shoeless judge since well, she did lose her shoes at the party, don’t ask. I know she is going to read this…lol. I also know she was after my Paella.
Later I ran into a gal,Nancy. She was married to a guy named Tillotson. She was drop dead gorgeous as well. I know it’s not the water but there was something about the gals at this party that would make any coyote howl at night eh, Oy Vey. Well we were cutting jokes and enjoying the evening when she introduced me to her hubby. He was a very kewl guy and I simply enjoyed their company. Then he mentioned that he was writing songs since the 60’s. Hmmmmm, I thought to myself. Then I asked which songs he wrote and produced. Does Earth Angel, Poetry In Motion or Talk Back Trembling Lips ring a bell? Well I was sitting with non other than Johnny Tillotson. I thought it was way bitchen since I did enjoy his tunes. But Johnny was far from done with his career since he has written many tunes and songs for film and tv since them days. I also got a F-R-E-E CD from him. Cheesy huh, but I was tripping since I was going to buy the album before I met him anyway. Such a deal………….
Man, I was walking on fresh frybread imagine, F-R-E-E food and a F-R-E-E CD as well. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Course I had a great time with “Sarah” the French film producer at the Châteaux Marmont earlier this month. The only problem was the serving size. And yes folks, it was F-R-E-E. The valet parking thing was not so spiffy though. I just hate strangers parking my car, they want a tip!! But I did enjoy pissing Andy Rooney off or at least I thought it was Andy Rooney. Now that I think about it, it could have been Dominic Dunn, another miserable little man with a miserable briefcase. I still think they are brothers, Andy and Dominic.
As we drove away a wonderful feeling came over me. At least now we did not have to worry about the cops pulling us over since we were guests. Course my ride did not quite fit the profile of the community though. I did not see any 65 Valiants anywhere around. I like the push button transmission controls on the dash. The cloud of smoke from my exhaust only added to the mystic of our Hollywood adventure. So, with a back fire and a cloud of dark smoke we said farewell to our Hollywood hosts and made tracks for Pacoima.