Top 10 List of Things for skins to do at Wal-Mart…
10. Ask stock boy where the commod isle is…
9. Pull up to express check out line with 8 Thirty-packs and attempt
to pay with food stamps…
8. Go to the shoe department and ask where the beaded NIKES are…
7. Ask sporting goods department if they carry do-it-yourself sweat
6. Inquire in clothing department where they keep the 4-X NDN T-
5. Walk up to snack bar and order a Kidney-K-Bob…
4. Come walking in with a half-dozen 300 pound skins and ask where
the Diet Soda section is…
3. Pick up paging phone and blast out a 49 Song…
2. Go to the automotive guy and ask him if he can retread your flat
retreads… AND NUMBER ONE IS…DRUMROLL, PLEASE…
1. Walk into store wearing full traditional dance regalia and ask
where the scalping tools are….
A desert man who had spent his whole life in the desert, visited a
friend who had moved to town. He’d never seen a train or train tracks.
As he was standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a
whistle — Whooee da Whoee! — but he didn’t know what it was.
WHAM! He’s hit by the train and tossed to the side of the tracks. It
was a glancing blow, and he survived with a few broken bones and some
bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he was finally
visiting his friend in town. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard
the teapot whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from a nearby closet
and bashed the teapot into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend,
hearing the noise, rushed into the kitchen and asked, “Why’d you bust
up my teapot?” The desert man replied, “You gotta kill these things
when they’re small.”
Top 10 Things To Say To A Non-Indian Upon First Meeting
10. How much white are you?
9. I’m part white myself, you know.
8. I learned all your people’s ways in the Boy Scouts (Order of the Bullet).
7. My great-great-grandmother was a full-blooded European princess.
6. Funny, you don’t look white.
5. Where’s your powdered wig and knickers?
4. Do you live in a covered wagon?
3. What’s the meaning behind the square dance?
2. Oh wow, I really love your hair! Can I touch it?
1. What’s your feeling about riverboat casinos? Do they really help your people, or are they just a short-term fix?