A collection of Indian humor heard at powwows

Blog Entry a collection of Indian humor heard at powwows Dec 14, ’08 2:18 PM
by Ann for everyone

This page contains a collection of Indian humor heard at powwows
and sent in
by Indian people around the US. So much for being stoic. Enjoy.

BEING INDIAN IS…

BEING INDIAN IS … watching John Wayne whip 50 of your kind with a
single-shot pistol and a rusty pocket-knife on the late show.
BEING INDIAN IS … having at least a dozen missionaries from
twelve
different faiths trying to save your heathen soul every year.
BEING INDIAN IS … fighting with the U.S. Army to save your
country from the
evils of communists, and against the U.S. Army on your reservation
to keep
the Corps of Engineers from stealing all your land.
BEING INDIAN IS ….. having every third person you meet tell you
about his
great grandmother who was a real Cherokee princess.
BEING INDIAN IS ….. having 9 out of 10 people tell you how great
they
believe Jim Thorpe, Squanto, Tonto, and Little Beaver are.
BEING INDIAN IS ……loving fry bread and corn soup.
BEING INDIAN IS having high salaried BIA, PHS, OEO, HEW, and DOL
white-collar
bureaucrats tell you how much money is being spent on Indians these
days.
BEING INDIAN IS …….. having the greatest grandparents in the
world.
BEING INDIAN IS ……… having your teenage child come home from
school and
ask you about “the strange beliefs” of Indians that the teacher
mentioned in
school today.
BEING INDIAN IS …….. waiting (impatiently) for the new
Tecumseh, Osceola,
Crazy Horse, and Geronimo to appear.
BEING INDIAN IS ……. living on borrowed time after your 44th
birthday.
BEING INDIAN IS ……..listening to all the middle-class Tontos
and Uncle
Tomahawks tell you we must do things the “American Way”.
BEING INDIAN IS ……..feeding anyone and everyone who comes to
your door
with whatever you have.
BEING INDIAN IS …… feeling the stares of all the whites in any
public
place you walk into.
BEING INDIAN IS …… having your non-Indian wife dancing in full
regalia at
your tribal pow-wow.
BEING INDIAN IS …… knowing the Great Spirit.
BEING INDIAN IS ……… having a Christian missionary tell you it
is wrong
to believe in more than one Divine Being, then listen to him tell
you about
God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, the Virgin Mary, St. Joseph, St.
Patrick, St.
Christopher, St. Francis, etc. etc.
BEING INDIAN IS…having a large family of over a million brothers
and
sisters!
BEING INDIAN IS…feeling that Little Bear, Prays-for-All, Big
Heart are more beautiful names than Jones, Smith or Brown.
BEING INDIAN IS…observing your children watching a cowboy and
Indian TV western movie and cheer for the cowboys.
BEING INDIAN IS…graduating from a government Bureau of Indian
Affairs school and not being able to read a 6th grade English book from
your white friend’s urban school.
BEING INDIAN IS…never making quick evaluations of people, but
reserving judgment until their actions show what kind of people they really are.
BEING INDIAN IS…never giving up the struggle for survival.
BEING INDIAN IS…standing up for life principles and truths
unashamed without having compromise your values.
BEING INDIAN IS…not only being proud of who you were born from,
but mindful of how you conduct yourself in the world.
BEING INDIAN IS…to have your liberal white friends urge you to
follow the same path as your Black brothers to gain some advantage.
BEING INDIAN IS…having your friends and relatives accuse you of
being a traitor if you seek an education, earn more than $7,000 a year,
wear a white shirt and tie, drive a car less than three years old, and live in a
three bedroom home.
BEING INDIAN IS…having heard your grandparents and yourself
say, “When they honor the treaties and we get our land claim payments”…then
suddenly realize your children are saying the same words also.
BEING INDIAN IS…having your non-Indian friends go on a Vision
Quest led by a white man to the mountains, but leaving you home because you
can’t make the $300 registration fee to attend.
BEING INDIAN IS…listening to your well-intentioned white brother
try to tell you about your native spirituality.
BEING INDIAN IS…hearing from non-Indians how rotten the
government has treated Indians, but still voting them back into office.
BEING INDIAN IS…listening to people tell you about their
grandmother or great grandmother that was a Cherokee Indian Princess.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing other Indians in search for an Indian identity.
BEING INDIAN IS…being greeted by non-Indians with pseudo names
from real ancestors of your tribe.
BEING INDIAN IS…having to prove with documentation that you are
one, when other races and people in the country don’t have to.
BEING INDIAN IS…knowing that your ancestors were slaughtered like
animals in the name of Christianity, and then being told that Christianity
is out to save us.
BEING INDIAN IS…buying “authentic” Indian jewelry made in Taiwan or Japan
BEING INDIAN IS…learning of people becoming Indian without having
an Indian
mother or father.
BEING INDIAN IS…finding out that people think all Indians lived in tipis.
BEING INDIAN IS…being told that Columbus discovered America from
his ship, when we were watching him from the shore.
BEING INDIAN IS…trying to relate to people who say they are
mathematically 1/4, 1/8, 1/16, etc. degree of blood.
BEING INDIAN IS…wearing braids and being called a “hippie” by
those who
object to long hair.
BEING INDIAN IS…being whipped for speaking your own tribal
language when on the school ground premises.
BEING INDIAN IS…watching your elders boast of Indian pride and
leadership, between swigs of liquor from a half-empty bottle.
BEING INDIAN IS…having your brothers and sisters that are
enrolled in the tribe treat you as second class citizen because you and/or your
family chose not to walk the government’s path.
BEING INDIAN IS…trying to search for tradition and truths of life
when alcoholism and drugs poison the path to the answers.
BEING INDIAN IS…trying to talk to elders about the “old ways” and
having them want to talk more about the rising price of cigarettes.
BEING INDIAN IS…going to school when you’re young and having the
teacher skip over the Indian chapter in the history book.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing others forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
BEING INDIAN IS…having others make jokes about your heritage and culture.
BEING INDIAN IS…living in two worlds.
BEING INDIAN IS…knowing the word, “Indian”, is not your true name.
BEING INDIAN IS…being called “Chief” or “Tonto” by patronizing non-Indians.
BEING INDIAN IS…being human, with human thoughts and feelings
like your non-Indian brothers and sisters.
BEING INDIAN IS…being constantly on the alert for the
government’s tactics that will annihilate you and your tribe.
BEING INDIAN IS…holding onto a piece of paper treaty that was
signed, but never honored.
BEING INDIAN IS…being told of the ten commandments, but see the
white man subscribe to them only when convenient and in his favor.
BEING INDIAN IS…having non-Indians look at a barefoot Indian
child that laughs, thinking he or she is poor.
BEING INDIAN IS…knowing alcohol doesn’t make you Indian, just drunk.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing elders die and the language & customs with them.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing Mother Earth destroyed by those who don’t know Her.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing history books tell you Columbus discovered America.
BEING INDIAN IS…hearing others think all Indians wear war bonnets.
BEING INDIAN IS…having the government treat you like a prisoner of war.
BEING INDIAN IS…seeing the government spend billions of dollars
abroad, but fail to honor the Indian treaties.
BEING INDIAN IS…sad,
BEING INDIAN IS…hard,
BEING INDIAN IS…crying,
BEING INDIAN IS…laughing,
BEING INDIAN IS…forever!

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