Buffalohair / MOVEN ON / June 2007


I’m back from Virginia, again. Not much to tell except that I’m convinced my sister will continue to cope with false dreams, hopes and desires from her philandering husband. And sadly, her health will continue to degenerate since her concerns will continue to be non-issue with her husband and their drunk alcoholic friends. And believe me, from what I saw, there is more then booze in his lifestyle. After all he is a good friend with his neighbor. The guy manufactures ICE and other METH products.

At present, he’s turned a new leaf my sister said. But her eyes were a sad indicator that she was only hoping in reality. Imagine, I spent a total of one month tailing her hubby and for my sins, I found the ole boy out. Gads I have snap shots, times, dates and a few eye witnesses. My sis only made excuses as she rode the trolley of denial. At that point, I knew in my heart there was nothing I could do for her. Though I could heal her body in the face of insurmountable odds, I had no medicine to deal with the abuse issues I’ve unearthed between my sis and her pinhead control freak hubby. How sad to witness in anyone’s life, let alone my sister.

So I went back to my rez and sought healing from my people. Granted, my older sister Sue had to use the threat of violence and mortal injury, more on this later. We had two tribal dances last weekend. So I donned gourd rattle and fan and danced my ass off in an effort to heal my sad heart. I sat among my clan, children running around, dogs barking and elders chuckling in the background. The big drum sounded as ancient songs echoed up and down the dusty little streets of our village. My other sister’s and brothers were there as well. Good thing I have a Painter in my family, I needed it big time and well, Wally-World don’t stock Red Earth Painting Supplies and I doubt the pharmacist is a qualified Painter anyway. Go figure….

My cousin, the MC, made a call for gourd dancers. I made my way to the floor near our singers and danced in timeless rhythm as our hearts beat as one. I felt the arms of my people caress my broken heart. For a moment in time, I shared the pain I held within me only to discover that we all shared the same emotion. I was not alone by any means; my sister is their sister, cousin, or niece as well. I looked around and found myself surrounded by grandmas. Gads, their medicine made me eyes well up cause it’s full of love, just so intense.

As we danced, I felt safe and secure as I came to feel the total power of them little white haired women. I was dwarfed by their dynamic. It gets to yea when you see these old timers coming in wheelchairs and walkers, then watching them dance without the need for them. I was proud to dance along side a cousin with one leg. He was a dancing machine and did not miss one song.

Then there is my sister Sue. She is absolutely insane and she would be the first one to admit it. But I love her and from time to time, she actually comes up with something I agree with. She pretty much extorted me into staying on the rez and going to both socials. I was perfectly happy being pissed off and ready to tear up humanity or something of that order when I got back to my pallet. Hmmmmmm, I could be the Matt Drudge of the Indin World. But Sue did shame me into staying in Oklahoma. I was just going to blow past it. I’m glad I stayed fore it was a time filled with blessings, joy and laughter. As my heart mended so did that of my relations. We gave it a go eh. Did save her life three times, which was a trip, holay. Can’t help but feel failure though. Just got to burn the cedar and pray.

Well it all ain’t over till the fat lady sings or in this case, “It all ain’t over till the Daria sounding monotone voice skinny as a rail Native chick sings”

Ba Da Bing, Ba Da Bang, Ba Da Boom. It ain’t nothing but a meat ball and yea win some and yea loose some. That’s just how it goes. But it still sucks when it’s your own family member who is caught in a web of deception. From the bail bonds days to the present I’ve always been focused and objective, aware of the many emotional issues that follow abuses. And more recently, the federal laws governing ‘rescues’. It’s still a bit ‘gray’ to me, hmmmmm. It’s the fine line between morality and legality. Was never much on the “L” one anyway.

Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

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