FROTH MORTON’S BIG DAY….
After a wonderful day at his favorite mental health facility and 60,000 volts of elector shock therapy, Froth Morton gathered up all 12 of his brain cells.
“Hmm, what did I learn today?” he thought as he scanned the list of things he “should” try to avoid, and it read.
“Froth Morton, please follow the doctors instructions, this time.
1.Stay away from small animals, like squirrels and other fuzzy creatures.
2.Avoid hardware stores, cutlery shops, and firearms stores.
3.Stay out of Iran, just because one raving lunatic wants to start a war to keep his cronies in the industrial War Machine supplied with American tax payers hard earned dollars is no excuse.
4.Don’t worry about health care or social issues that are affecting the citizens of this nation, no one else is. And by the way, the hospital is going to seize all your worldly possessions to cover you’re expenses. Eventually you will debt free but homeless.
5.You are not of retirement age as of yet so you don’t have to find a crime family to join to supplement your Social Security Benefits. Fact is, there will be no Social Security by the time you are of retirement age anyway.
6.You have to quit sending threatening letters to Gale Norton. The addition of talcum powder in the envelope with the word “anthrax” was very disruptive.
7.Ann Little Running Deer is not “your goddess” so stop stealing her underwear and building alters in her honor in the parkings lot of the Smithsonian OR the Hard Rock Café.
8.Stop wearing those stupid aluminum hats. Neutrinos, Alpha and Beta particles, secret messages from George Bush, and lice are not conspiring against you in an elaborate form of mind control. In all reality, George has missed many of his therapy sessions anyway.
9.Dick Cheney is not the re-incarnate of Benito Mussolini. Just because he is a pious self absorbed swine hell bent on enriching Halliburton via the Iraqi War. And no, he is not the puppet master and George is not his puppet. The Illuminati Skull or Bones pulls George’s strings anyway, you know, that “New World Odor” his dad started.
10. So what if 80% of the wealth of this nation is owned by 4% of the population. The other 96% of the population can live quite nicely on the remaining 20%, less the taxes, health care costs, rising fuel costs and a crumbling bogus economy. But having a cast iron umbrella while walking down Wall Street would not be a bad idea though, remember Black Tuesday?”
Invigorated by his visit to the Mental Health facility, he decided to run for the presidency of the United States of America. After all he was totally insane and that seems to be a prerequisite and well Froth Morton has all the qualifications.