GRANNY / 2007


Eglantine was a slight woman in her mid 70’s. She was a widow for many years since she chose not to remarry. Though she was a bit lonely at times in life she was for the most part happy and content. Lester her cat was all the companionship she needed for the most part. Well she did have Smith with her as well, but he did not say much. He just stuck to her side and went with her wherever she would travel.

One day, after she went shopping at the local supermarket. She was headed back to her car with a shopping cart full of goods. Then she noticed two men hanging around her car. She noticed one of the men was fiddling with what appeared to be a cloths hanger. The other gentleman appeared to be nervous as he scanned the parking lot. They were trying to steal her car.

As she approached her car the thugs did not seem concerned with her presents. Fact was, they began to snicker as she advanced towards them. By the time she was close to them she could hear them making cracks about how this granny was going to stop them. They laughed and laughed as she commanded them to cease and desist and to leave her beloved Gremlin alone.

In a heart pounding moment the two criminals stopped and turned towards the old and frail woman and told her to go away or they would have to “Take care of her”. One of the goons made a lunge at her as if to intimidate her. In an instant she shoved the shopping cart as the man lunging at her striking him in the groin sending him down to the asphalt in excruciating pain. The other man pulled out a knife and was making his way towards her old and frail body when she said,

“Meet my little friend SMITH and Wesson”

She pulled out her side arm and shot the other thug in the leg throwing him up against her car. Now she was mad since he bled all over the driver side door. Then she walked up to the two of the surprised men sticking the barrel of the pistol in the mouth of the shopping cart casualty and demanded the other wounded creep to clean of the door or she was going to blow his friends head off.

Bleeding from a gun shot wound to the upper leg the check mated thief pleaded with her to let him go to the hospital. But she was undeterred and ordered him to clean off the door first or she would finish them both off. Well you did not have to tell the guy twice so he ripped off his shirt and wiped down the car like she ordered him to do.

While she was watching him wipe down the door she noticed he was looking strangely towards his partner. She caught from the corner of her eye the other fellow coming at her so she reeled around and pumped a round in his chest dropping him deader than a box of rocks. Then turned back to her car washer and told him to finish the job or he was next.

By then he was in tears since the other guy was his kid brother. Though he was fearful for his life he was angry over the death of his sibling. Defiantly he threw down the shirt he was using and made another advance towards her. He was cursing her as he tried to lunge at her aged form. That’s when the other shot ran out striking the culprit right between the eyes sending him to the pavement as well.

She resumed her journey to her Gremlin and loaded her groceries in the back. Then she reached into her glove box and took out a few tissues and wiped off the remainder of the blood. Then she walked back to the Keystone criminals their lifeless forms splayed on the parking lot floor. Reaching into the back pocket of one of the bad guys, she retrieved his wallet and removed all his money and replacing it with the bloodied tissue. She walked up to the other stiff anf took out his wallet and took all his cash as well.In a puff of smoke she was down the road as her trusty Gremlin took her back to her humble dwelling.

Once she arrived back home Lester was at the door meowing excitedly. She removed all the groceries and put everything up and started to perk herself a cup a green tea. Then she fed the cat and took Smith out of her pancake holster and began to clean it. In the background her favorite song was playing. It was a tune by Dean Martin, Volari. Eglantine loved Dean Martin and she hummed the song as he sang.

When Smith was finally clean she went over to the cookie jar and loaded three more hollow points into her pistol. She replaced the weapon in the pancake holster under her shawl. Pouring herself a cup of piping hot tea she went over to the kitchen and resumed the bead work she started yesterday. Her only real concern was the fact she forgot to buy white beads to finish up the regalia she was making for her son. She contemplated going back to the store but decided it was best that she wait till tomorrow.

She mused,

“I should have bought the dang beads”

The moral of the story, RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. They did not get to be that age being a fool.

Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

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