Spoon Size Shredded Wheat a spoof of Star Trek:) / 2008

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Spoon Size Shredded Wheat a spoof of Star Trek:) page2

Nov 20, ’08 12:15 AM
by Ann for everyone

Sat Nov 10, 2007 8:48 am Post subject:CAPTAINS LOG 3456.3

I had just received several urgent messages from Governor Manicotti on the colony New Pasta. Apparently they found primitive communications devices and sent calls for help to Star fleet. Manicotti; a maverick to some, but to me he is a careless adventurer. Now I must risk the lives of my crew to save our citizens. All for what, “The Amber Waves of Grain” the fabled core of all civilization? Still no sign of Flakes, my medical officer, and now we are receiving encrypted messages in the ancient tongue “Dino”.

Captain Niacin was in his cabin studying the latest encrypted messages from New Pasta when he was interrupted by laughter.

“Ha, ha, ha, hello captain, remember me?”

Instantly, Niacin recognized the voice and responded,

“Spew, what are you doing this far from the multi-grain system?

“I have a secret Captain and I want you to guess what it is, ha, ha, ha” said the mysterious voice.

“Surely you know this is not the time for your foolishness Spew. We are on a rescue mission. Lives are at stake here, you must realize…”

His words were cut short as Spew interrupted,

“Oh captain, I think you will want to play this game with me. Let me give you a hint”

Then Niacin heard a distant voice muffles with the tell tale signs of “snap, crackle, pop”

“Captain, it’s me F#####, I’m in the ############## but I’m ok. But you ###########” the nameless voice said.

The captain immediately queried into blank space,

“Flakes? Is that you? Are you alright? Spew what have you done with Flakes?”

“Ah, ah, ah that’s all the clues for now Captain” the galactic jester said.

Spew continued,

“Very good captain, you might have solved one piece of the puzzle. But there is much more to this game other than guessing who I have. Now you have to guess why I have him and where he is. Now do you want to play? Bye for now Captain, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,”

“Spew! Spew why are you doing this? Spew, Spew…..” begged the worried captain. By then Spew was gone. But on the captains desk there was a note. It was from Spew.

“Captain, seek out the Oatmealians fore they have the next clue”

Niacin looked longingly out of his porthole. He gazed into the universe as his starship cut a swath through the star filled galaxies. Deep in thought he said,

“The Oatmealians, why would this secretive civilization hold any clues to the whereabouts of Flakes? Why?”

His train of thought was broken by the intercom. It was Spoon,

“Captain, you are needed on the bridge. The Oatmealians are requesting permission to board the ship”

“Thank you Mr. Spoon. Allow them permission, I will meet you in the transporter room” Niacin said.

With hope and a bit of fear of the unknown, Niacin looked out into space again and pondered,

“What could they possibly know about my medical officer? Their culture is so advanced yet so secretive. They are like Spoon in their lack of emotion. How could they be a party to such foolishness? I just can’t fathom them allying themselves with the likes of Spew. This is madness”

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:57 pm Post subject:She talked with her children all gathered there at the back porch. She could see the fear in their eyes as they excitedly decribed what happened.

She moved them into the kitchen and started breakfast for them. This was a good time for they all wanted to talk but all at the same time.

Okay one at a time please, she said. Who wants to take notes for we must have all noticed something different. We need to get to the bottom of this.

Just then their neighbor knocked at their door. Hey, he said I just saw one of your rockets taking off, whats up? So once again all the children started talking at once. Hey, hey, slow down! You mean you did not shoot it off?

No!!!!!!!

So they spent most of the morning telling their information of all the happenings that had been taking place. With all having a hardy breakfast to help calm their nerves.

This is serious and you know what most would say. But really we need to have this checked out just to make sure! their neighbor said.

You mean like Ghost Busters!!!!! one of the little children piped up.

The mother asked if that could be done quietly without word of this spreading all over town?

The good friend said he would checked it out quietly and get back with them later in the evening. He would do it online so no one would know.

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:34 am Post subject:

Unknown to the family others were already picking up strange signals over their area. Reports were going into Washington D.C.

Their neighbor came back that evening with information to read. Showing all the machines used to check strange readings of activity. Also how to first prove it was not a haunting before spending money they did not really have to spare.

Checking the childrens notes the strange happenings were all located around the kitchen, their toy boxes in the family/playroom and the living-room. Strangely it always had Spoon Size Shredded Wheat involved?

The children were already losing their taste for cold cereal with all the trouble it got them into. So on their own with out the adults knowing, the littlest children started spying on the boxes of cereal. They knew the adults would consider this all very silly.

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:20 pm Post subject:

Looking over the information again they all sighed. The only one they might be able to afford, at least for one visit, had this picture of a woman with wild hair in a crazy hair style. They all had to laugh! Wow, what wild adventure would we be getting ourselves into! Can it be any worse then what is happening now? said their neighbor.

The littlest children were having an adventure of their own. Hey, be quiet so we can at least watch our favorite SciFi shows in peace! said the older children. Not even noticing what the little ones were talking about.

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:32 am Post subject:

Captains Log 3456.4

After an encounter with Spew an intergalactic prankster I was made aware that he might have something to do with the disappearance of my medical officer Flakes. I was called to the transporter room by Spoon so I could greet the Oatmealian’s and another clue to this diabolical game of hide and seek.

As the visitors began to materialize Spoon said,

“Captain, it looks like Emperor Quake and it would appear he has a Post Federation uniform in his hands”

“Flakes, that is Flakes uniform Spoon” the astonished captain exclaimed.

Fully materialized the stoic ruler of the secretive Oatmealians surveyed the occupants of the transporter room. Then he announced,

“Greetings Captain Niacin, I have an important issue that requires your immediate attention”

“Emperor Quake, welcome aboard, it’s been several years since we last spoke” said Niacin.

“Enough of the small talk captain; we found this uniform in the Yeast Galaxy. As you are well aware of, this is Oatmealian sacred ground and it is also forbidden for intruders to enter this place. To do this violation under Oatmealian law means death to the perpetrator” said the ruler.

“Emperor, we had nothing to do with this. That is the uniform of a missing crew member from this starship. And I believe this is an elaborate prank by..” Niacin’s word were cut short as the indignant Emperor retorted,

“The Oatmealian High Counsel will have an inquiry as to what we shall do about this intrusion in our sacred sector captain. I will contact you after we make our decision” and with this statement the emperor vanished leaving Flakes uniform in the floor of the transporter room.

“Spoon what do you make of all this?” the worried captain queried.

“The Oatmealians are a very private culture and they guard the Yeast Galaxy with their lives. Any intrusion of their air space around this galaxy constitutes war since it is forbidden for any outsider to view their sacred zone. We are in jeopardy of being destroyed as we speak captain” the pointy eared Spoon said.

“What kind of prank is Spew trying to play with us? How can he risk the lives of my crew this way? And what about Flakes? Without his sugar frosting he can become soggy and this could spell his death Spoon” said Niacin.

“Aye captain, all engines are non functional and we can’t seem to get a reading from the riboflavin generators” Spotty reported over the intercom.

“Captain, the Oatmealians have placed us in some kind of arrest and we are now at their whim. Any communications with Starfleet will surely be our doom captain” Spoon retorted.

“Spoon, I would assume our fate lays in the hands of the Oatmealian High Counsel” Niacin remarked.

Then the communications officer Yahoo said with great excitement,

“Captain, I am receiving another urgent distress call from New Pasta. It’s Governor Manicotti. He says the carbon based life forms are intercepting their communications. It is as if these life forms are trying to communicate with them somehow”

With urgency in his voice Captain called his chief engineer,

“Spotty, what is the status of the riboflavin generators?’

The seasoned engineer responded,

“Aye captain, there is no sign of damage but nothing will function. It’s as if everything is in suspended animation”

The captain walked over to the porthole and gazed into the cosmos and pondered,

“Why Spew, why are you doing this?”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 3:30 pm Post subject:

In drove this jeep and a beautiful woman with sleek long hair got out and opened up the back. She started removing cases as the children all ran up to greet her.

‘Hello, my name is Sarah.” “I was invited here, to meet your mother I believe?”

About that time their neigbor drove up and their mother Jane was coming from the barn.

“Hello may we help you!” their neighbor Guy spoke up.

“Yes, I am here about all the strange happenings at the farm house.” said Sarah.

About that time Jane was there and she and Guy looked at each other in surprise. ‘You do not look anything like the picture on the web site!”

Sarah laughed, “Oh yes, the picture! We did that with a slice of humor. We are so busy with research and want to keep it to sincere cases, to people who really need our help. That picture really helps cut down on all the phone calls”, Sarah laughed again.

Everyone laughed at the joke of it all, as they welcomed her into their home.

“What is in the suit cases?” asked the little ones.

Sarah showed them
Cell Sensor EMF Meter
Electrosensor EMF meter
Sony EMC-F8 Omnidirectional Microphone
LED microlight red light flashlight
Pocket infrared non contact thermometer
PIR motion sensor
and other equipment, besides all her cameras.

“Wow!”, the children chorused together “Don’t touch anything”, you could hear Jane say.

“Show Sarah her room and the bathroom, children and I will get us something to eat.”

“Would you like something to drink first, Sarah?” Guy hurried in.

Jane glanced back at him looking at Sarah with a spark in his eyes, as she left the room.

Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:49 pm Post subject:

After supper the neighbor finally went home. The children noticed that their mother seemed relieved, which they thought was strange. She was always happy when he stopped by and helped them.

Sarah had told them she would set up her equipment later that night, after everyone had gone to bed. So most were turning in for the night or to at least read a chapter or two from their favorite book before going to sleep.

But Sarah noticed the younger ones were in a world of their own. She found them in the living room with some Motorola Walkie Talkies and little motor-driven vehicles playing. They were so absorbed in what they were doing, they did not notice her as she quietly sat down close by to watch them play.

See could see they had the little California raisins in the driver seats and what was that? Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat in the back. LOL She smiled, laughing silently to herself. Good thing their mother was not seeing them playing with their food!

Suddenly there were sounds coming across the Motorola Walkie Talkies that the children held near the motor-driven vehicles, but it was not the motor sounds. It made her almost jump out of her seat!

“See they are doing it again ! Shhhhh be quiet or they will stop! ” The motor-driven vehicles were heading to the back of the TV set.

“Doing what?” asked Sarah The children jumped to their feet and stood staring at her. “Ohhhhh we were just playing,” they stammered. The motor-driven vehicles were suddenly still , nothing was moving. There were no longer any sounds, as even the motors had turned off.

Hummmm that was strange, how did the children do all that? By a remote she did not notice?

The children excused themselves, saying they were now going to bed and they all sweetly said their good nights to Sarah.

That was another thing she thought was strange. None of them had told her their names! Well, tomorrow she would spend more time with them but now she needed to set up her equipment.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 2:27 pm    Post subject:

What was this?Sarah could not believe what she was seeing or hearing! What was going on here?

She double checked all her equipment and cameras!

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:22 am Post subject: At the Farm House In the Morning NEWS!

Deseret Morning News | Bowled over: Cereal is not just for …
These were soon followed by Kellogg’s Sugar Pops, Frosted Flakes and Sugar … Post Spoon-Size Shredded Wheat and Bran, South Beach Diet Toasted Wheats, …
http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,650199442,00.html

The older children were watching TV and started laughing. ‘ Hey look the Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat talks now!’

Mother and the little ones hurried in from the kitchen. Ohhhhh it is a breakfast commercial!, laughed Jane. The little ones looked at each other and sighed.

‘They are going to show some of their older Shredded Wheat ads in a few minutes, stay and watch as this should be funny!’

The show was saying:

There is a new advertisement in Canada regarding the new Vanilla flavored Mini-Wheats. The tune for this song is based off “Agadoo” by Black Lace.

One of the newest television commercials involves its strawberry-flavored version, portraying a case of mistaken identity. A traditional, male Mini-Wheat character, seeing a pink-colored Mini-Wheat, greets him flirtatiously, only to be shocked when the latter turns out to be another male. Another strawberry-flavored commercial features a band, The Beatles, playing to the theme song.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7rMl53u1J70

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zb6wXjZCjnQ

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cTTGC_uaPOg

The older children were loving every minute of this TV Morning Special.

The Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat inside the TV set were taking advantage of the extra power it seemed to be producing and the noise to cover up their own operations.

Sarah was up in her room trying to translate the sounds her equipment picked up, she was almost sure it was a language! She could hear the children laughing down stairs but she had a mystery to solve.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:10 pm Post subject:

‘I wonder if this will work?’ thought Sarah. She pulled a little radio from a case . Her crew had been working on this idea for some time now. A “telecommunicator” device like a small transistor radio just a simple “two-way scrambler”.

She started picking up conversations, being in the middle of it she could not understand what they were talking about. Carbon life forms, now what was that?

Also for a minute a glowing light appeared and it was like she was seeing a man standing before her and then it disappeared.

Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:55 pm Post subject:

Sarah heard…….

“Spoon, I would assume our fate lays in the hands of the Oatmealian High Counsel”

with great excitement,

“Captain, I am receiving another urgent distress call from New Pasta. It’s Governor Manicotti. He says the carbon based life forms are intercepting their communications. It is as if these life forms are trying to communicate with them somehow”

“Spotty, what is the status of the riboflavin generators?’

“Aye captain, there is no sign of damage but nothing will function. It’s as if everything is in suspended animation”

“Why Spew, why are you doing this?”

Sarah wondered what on earth are they talking about and who was talking? Am I picking up one of the childrens SciFi Shows? But how could that be? What was this light I saw? I need to call and speak with my team!
Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:11 pm Post subject:

Captain Niacin’s ponderings was cut short as his communications officer broke the silence.

“Captain, I am receiving another message from Governor Manicotti in New Pasta. They have taken over a primitive communications device called a TV. Scouts converted some of the primitive modes of transportation. They are allied with beings called California Raisins sir.”

Niacin looked out of the porthole again. Looking to the stars he said,

“Raisin’s Spoon, how can that be? The Brand Confederation was destroyed when their civilization was completely saturated in the Forbidden Zone of the Milky Way. I thought all Raisin’s were killed as well”

In his usual stoic demeanor Spoon answered his commanding officers query,

“The Raisin civilization has the ability to survive the negative effects of the Milky Way where as the Brand civilization can be saturated and totally destroyed. It’s completely logical the Raisins managed to find safety and in all probability they managed to find relative safety on this primitive planet called Earth”

The communications officer had more to add about the latest transmission.

“Manicotti also said some of the carbon based life forms seem to be trying to communicate with them. And they appear to be not as hostile as the larger ones. The smaller aliens seem to be protecting the colony as well. Further, Manicotti believes these life forms may try and assist them in escaping if communications can be made. But their transmitting devices have not made the link as of yet. There is hope sir”

“Can we send a message to New Pasta to let them know we will soon be there?” Niacin queried.

“I’m afraid not Captain fore we are still completely helpless and all our out going communications are blocked by the Oatmealians” Spoon said.

At that moment the cabin was filled with laughter. It was the voice of Spew as he echoed throughout the starship.

“Captain, you’re not playing the game. Ha Ha Ha Ha, Come on Captain, I’ll give you another clue. You can’t get enough of that Sugar Crisp, it keeps you going strong. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha”

Then like a phantom, Spew was silent and was gone.

Franticly the captain retorted,

“Spew, Spew why are you doing this? Spew have you no consideration, the lives of our crew as well as New Pasta is in jeopardy. This is not the time to play games, Spew” He turned to his second in command and said, “Spoon, what do you make of all this?”

The second in command looked to his superior officer and said in his typically dry tone of voice,

“Though I am not of the emotion that recognized this thing called humor. I can offer some logical analysis of the afore mentioned communications with Spew. Within the context of his clue he mentioned Sugar. Some ancient civilizations referred to it as Sharkara or gravel. Later civilizations referred to it as monosaccharide or disaccharide chemical. Though it has a soluble base, it has been used as a protective coating for many grain based civilizations.”

“Thank you Mr. Spoon for the scientific explanation. But I need to know what this means to us at this juncture” said the exasperated captain.

“If I may continue captain, many civilizations still use Glucose as a form of protection when entering the vicinity of the Milky Way. Though it is very primitive at best it still offers some protection from the negative effects from the Milky Way. Logically speaking, this would be a very important clue”

Still peering out of the port hole Niacin said,

“Of course, Glucose, I should have known. Spoon, try to locate a civilization in this vicinity that still uses the Glucose technology”

Spoon, looked with his usual stoic manner and replied,

“As you wish captain”
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:13 am    Post subject:

After filling her team in on all that had been happening. Some wanted to come out and work with her. She said she was not sure if Jane would want all of them there getting in the way. But would get back with them later.Right now having been up all night, she suddenly felt very tired and the bed looked very inviting so she stretch out across it just for a second. Suddenly she was out like a light!

But Sarah started having strange dreams!

[img]

PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:24 pm    Post subject:

In her dream Sarah was seeing the man again, who appeared in her room before. Who was he?[img][/img]

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:32 pm    Post subject:

Sarah reached out to him and suddenly something strange happened![img][/img]

Tags:
Blog Entry

Spoon Size Shredded Wheat a spoof of Star Trek:)Page 1

Nov 20, ’08 12:00 AM
by Ann for everyone
PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 2:02 pm    Post subject: Continued spoof Star Trek Story by Buffalohair
The continued Star Trek Series ‘Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat’
by BuffalohairSpoon Size Shredded Wheat
[ Go to page: 1, 2 ] 22 Ann LRD 1277 Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:11 pm
Buffalohair

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:52 am Post subject: Spoon Size Shredded Wheat

What you say?

Have you ever enjoyed a bowl of Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat, drizzled with honey from your own bee hives and covered with ice cold milk from your own dairy animals?

Are there any other uses for Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat?

Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:26 pm Post subject:

In the meantime, in a research facility located at Goom Lake better know as Area 54. Scientist Glen Thinzipper was reviewing old research data from the European Space Agency’s (ESA) Hipparcos—the High Precision Parallax Collecting Satellite that was designed to map the stars.

As he reviewed the data he noticed something very strange. After a few calculations and calls to other space agencies he called his supervisor for some input.

“Umm, Bill I have something I want you to come down and take a look at something I found in one of the star maps we have here” said the perplexed physicist.

Bill his supervisor queried, “What is the commotion all about Glen”

Excitedly Glen responded, “Well it’s something I discovered in these maps we got from the European Space Agency. It shows an anomaly of some kind and the calculations show that this object is on a collision course for Earth”

The curious supervisor asked his colleague, “What is it, a meteor, or comet of some kind? Describe it to me…”

With a puzzled tone to his voice Glen said, “Well I don’t really know since I never saw anything like this. It’s square and has only one polar cap and it seems to have cannels that all run in the same direction. Fact is, it looks like Sugar Frosted Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat”

The dismayed supervisor retorted, “All rightie then, umm Glen? When was the last time you had a vacation?”

The saga continues…………….

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:31 pm Post subject:

The children had a cereal snack as they watched a favorite evening SciFi TV Show.

Do you notice that the Cereal box of Spoon Size Shredded Wheat never is empty? ….. they asked each other. Hummmmm maybe we are just watching too much SciFi? Mom must have a huge supply stored away some where?

Thu Oct 25, 2007 12:18 am Post subject:

STAR DATE 3456

Somewhere just outside the Andromeda Galexy. Starship Kraft is flying through space at Warp 10. We find Captain Niacin on the bridge. His second in command, Spoon, enters the deck to inform the captain of an urgent message he had just received.

“Captain, we just received a call from the Post Confederation. It appears that a colony of our citizens are under attack by carbon based life forms. These creatures are cannibalizing our outpost and the citizens need to be evacuated as soon as possible” said the pointy eared second in command.

“Spoon, inform the Starfleet that we are on our way” said Captain Niacin.

“At your Command Captain, But need I remind you that we will be heading into a hostile environment since it would appear from their last transmission that our citizens have become a part of the food chain in this primitive solar system. And that they are dangerously close to a white dwarf call the Sun” retorted Spoon.

“Is it the feted little blue planet they call Earth? Queried the captain.

“I’m afraid so sir. Its Earth and it’s location on the outer reaches of this galaxy, the Milky Way means that this region has been woefully under explored by the Confederation” Spoon said.

The captain then turned away for his officer and walked back onto the bridge and summoned his chief medical officer.

“Flakes, I need you on the bridge immediately. Spoon, set our course for Earth and give us Warp 20. We have a mission” said the determined Niacin.

In a flash, the starship disappeared into the darkness of space………….

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:01 am Post subject:

Wow, it sometimes seems so real that I forget it is just a TV Show!

All the children agreed.
As they took their dishes into the kitchen to wash them.

As they put away their clean dried bowls and spoons. They noticed again that the Box of Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat was full.

See what I mean! Now where is mom?????????

They closed the top and put the cereal away, as they all headed off to bed.

Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:00 am Post subject:

CAPTAINS LOG 3456

We’ve gotten orders from the Star Fleet Post Command to do a humanitarian rescue mission on a distant planet in a galaxy called the Milky Way. The citizens of this colony have been under assault by alien beings that’ve captured and began devouring members of the colony. I ordered Spoon, my second in command to chart a course for a primitive planet called “Earth”.

As the Captain reviewed his log, a voice crackled over the intercom, it was the chief engineer Spotty;

“Aye captain, pulse engine number 3 is running at 50 % and the riboflavin generators are at critical mass. I will have to shut it down for repairs” Spotty warned.

“Affirmative Spotty, Spoon reduce the speed to Warp 10 and shut down engine number 3” Niacin commanded

“Captain, you are aware that once we enter the Milky Way we will need to maintain at least Warp 15 or we could be dissolved in the hostile environment that is ever present in the Milky Way” Spook said.

With the look of utter shock and dismay the captain looked Spoon in the eyes and said;

“Spoon, do you mean we will loose our snap crackle and pop?”

In his ever so stoic demeanor Spook replied with little emotion;

Yes Captain, and we just received notice from Post Command that our transmissions are being intercepted by the alien beings by something called “TV Network” and our every word is being monitored by these carbon based life forms”

Somewhat dismayed at the first officer’s dry response Captain Niacin quipped;

“Have you no soul Spoon? You appear to have no compassion for these citizens. They are being killed as we speak yet your tone is with no emotions. Why Spoon?

Without blinking an eye the second in command responded;

“Captain, back on Vitamin our civilization has evolved beyond your civilization. We no longer enjoin the gluten filled existence that other civilizations still enjoin in sir. We’ve evolved into pure nutrients without the need of sugars or by produces common in your culture. I am concerned captain but I also face the realities forthwith”

“Ensign Yahoo, encrypt all messages to the Starfleet. And let them know we are on our way” Captain Niacin said to the communications office.

“Spoon, take over the bridge, I will be in my cabin” Niacin ordered.

“As you wish Captain” the stoic officer said.

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:33 pm Post subject:

CAPTAINS LOG 3456.1

We’ve left the Andromeda Galaxy on our way to Earth located near the Forbidden Zone to rescue our citizens in a distant colony. One pulse engine is down and our chief engineer Spotty has a detail working on it. Our transmissions have been monitored by these carbon based life forms on this strange planet Earth. And the chief medical examiner Flakes is nowhere to be found on the starship. With one engine down we face imminent peril from the hostile environment in the Milky Way. And Spoon, with his lack of emotion, always so cold and logical. And what’s with them pointy ears anyway?

Captain Niacin was fast asleep when the intercom from the bridge chimed in. It was Spoon with an urgent message.

“Captain, we’ve just received a stern warning from the EH High Command. They are warning us to keep out of their airspace or face total destruction. They have Lactose lasers tracking our vessel. Our sensors detect their tracking bean sir”

With a start Captain Niacin sprang into consciousness and responded with great concern,

“Lactose! The only element in our Starfleet is ill prepared to cope with. How diabolical, this can be the beginning of an intergalactic war and possibly the death of our crew. After all, we are lactose intolerant. I’ll meet you on the bridge Spoon”

Spoon responded dryly,

“As you wish captain”

Flush with concern, Captain Niacin burst onto the bridge and began spouting orders.

“Yahoo, contact Starfleet and ask if we have any alliances in this region. Any sign of Flakes onboard ship? And where is my frigging coffee?”

As the crew snapped to the captains orders Spoon had more words to say;

“Captain, I have the emperor of EH online now sir and he would wish to speak with you.”

With a distant look in his eyes, Niacin began to reflect;

“Emperor Bannock, Spoon I was in flight school with Bannock many years ago. It was a time when Starfleet was at peace with all the indigenous galaxies. Yes Spoon we were friends Bannock and I. Shamefully Starfleet broke treaty after treaty in their quest to control the galaxy. I would be admiral by now Spoon but I could not cope with the injustices from the early high command at Post. I lost contact with Bannock since he returned to EH during all this turmoil. Now he is their ruler. Put him on the horn”

As the hologram came into focus Emperor Bannock’s image came into view. The emperor spoke first;

“Captain Niacin, fancy meeting in this part of the universe eh. It’s been a long time since we flew training Chex in flight school. It is to bad Starfleet chose to break treaties with the rest of the unleavened people of the universe captain. Allies turned bitter enemies eh”

At that moment Yahoo began to inform the captain of what Starfleet had to say;

“Captain, Starfleet said we have on allies in this region since it’s to close to the forbidden zone sir”

Laughing Emperor Bannock continued,

“EH is now an alliance of all unleavened nations, Tortilla, Sopapilla and Frybread are now a part of our federation. And they are sworn enemies of Starfleet. This is our part of the universe and we are not going to allow Starfleet’s hatred in enter our existence anymore fore we are truly free.”

“Bannock, I was never a part of this. You were always my friend. I was remanded to the Starfleet and was passed over for Admiral as well. Surely you have some compassion since we are on a rescue mission in the Milky Way, a place called Earth” Niacin said to Bannock.

“Why captain, that is in the Forbidden Zone. Lactose is ever present in this environment and unregulated lactose is fatal to both leavened and unleavened life forms. It is an act of suicide for any of us to enter this forsaken place eh. And yes captain, you was always a friend even in my darkest hour. I will grant you permission to pass for you will soon be dead anyway. I will honor our friendship as well and will inform the others of your suicide mission. But don’t ever think we will allow other starships from the Post Confederation to cross fore I will not be responsible for the actions of others in the EH Empire” the ruler said.

“Thank you Bannock, I will forever be indebted to you for this. Good by my friend” said the humbled captain.

With no expression the holographic image of the Ruler faded from site. Then Yahoo spoke up;

“Captain, we are receiving some package from the Eh Empire. It’s addressed to “An Old Friend” it’s from Emperor Bannock”

Niacin ordered;

“Energize the transporter!”

With the command said, the transporter re constituted the molecular structure of what appeared to be a box. With no hesitation the captain picked up the box and took it to his chair in the bridge then opened the box.

Emotion filled the captain as he looked into the contents of the box. He looked to the heavens in a moment of thought and reflection. With a tear in his eyes he said;

“Thank you my friend, thank you”

Spoon went over to the captain and peered into the box to see what Niacin was so emotional about. And in his emotionless candor he quipped;

“I am not familiar with this term, Tim Horton. Maybe you can explain this to me.”

“Its coffee Spoon, it’s just coffee”

With a totally perplexed look on his face, Spoon retorted;

“It is illogical to me why an inanimate object such as this can stir these useless emotions”

Snapping back to his role as captain, Niacin regained his composure and ordered;

“Steady as she goes as we enter Eh airspace. Spotty, is number three engine ready?”

“Aye Captain” said the chief engineer”

With the news that repairs were done, the captain gave the command.

“All ahead full. Bring her up to Warp 20 Mr. Spoon.”

“As you wish Captain” said the pointy eared second in command.
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Wed Oct 31, 2007 5:42 am Post subject:

Being mom was a full time job in caring for her family, but she had great children!

They were starting to do things lately that were not the norm and that puzzled her. Like this morning she saw they were careless with the cereal boxes as she found Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat on the floor by the doors and even found them on some of the window sills. Where it looked like they were playing with them in their hot wheels and toy cars with needles as antennas?

Suddenly she heard Dean Martin singing from the living-room! She heard her children groan. As she entered the room they asked her why his voice was coming across on audio as their fav SciFi Station showed on the screen?

Hummmmm, as she switched channels the singing was on everyone! So she gave in and called in a neighbor who worked on anything electric.
He came in and said ‘Hey this is cool!’ and laughed. He removed the back of the TV set and said ‘What the’ ……. !!!!!!!

Everyone hurried to see what was wrong. And there before their eyes was a Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat Command Center!!!!!!!! Well, that is what it looked like! Along with the children’s Space Ships and other pieces of their SciFi toy collection. ‘Okay, who is playing with this Spoon Sized Shredded Wheat this morning?’ asked Mom.

But how did that make the Dean Martin song play ?
Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:29 pm Post subject:

CAPTAINS LOG 3456.2

I was able to gain passage through EH airspace and fortunately their emperor was an old friend from flight school, Bannock. He secured safe passage for me and my crew on this rescue mission to this primitive planet called Earth. Spotty our chief engineer made the repairs to our number three engine, and we are running at Warp 20. I was given a token for friendship from Bannock, the elixir of the G*D’s Tim Horton Coffee, EH’s most treasured commodity. Still no sign of Flakes.

“Captain, I am receiving a message for the governor of that colony on Earth” Yahoo said as she adjusted the signal on her control panel.

Niacin listened to the broken transmission as it came over the intercom.

“This is Governor Manicotti on the colony New Pasta, planet Earth located ###### ###### Way. We ##### and our citizens are making ######## to escape. We have found primitive communications devices and are ########. ####### vehicles and non functional. ######## help us or we will soon be eaten. Oh no, we have been #############”

The sound of static filled the bridge as the communications officer tried in vane to regain communication with the beleaguered colony.

“If I may interject captain, Manicotti was an adventurer from the Bada Bing Confederation years ago. He later joined the Matzo’s and other smaller unleavened tribes in our galaxy. Then he aquired his own starship and took a multi cultural contingent on an exploratory mission into deep space. Later it was learned he also started the New Pasta Confederation of which he apparently is ruler” Spoon continued, “Most of his followers were from the Post Confederation and Starfleet has the responsibility to rescue it’s citizens according to…”

“Spoon, I know, I know our obligation but what kind of world am I taking my crew where creatures are consuming them? Are these creatures intelligent; is there no reasoning with them? Niacin said.

Spoon continued,

“According to the Toasty O’s exploratory space craft sent many years before Manicotti left this galaxy, these beings have no noticeable intellect. They have a habit of consuming anything in their path including grains, wheat, corn and barley. Other life forms that have lived on this planet for a millennium have simply disappeared over a period of a few hundred years”

“Grains, wheat, corn and barley? Why would Manicotti place his people in such danger? Said the captain.

Interrupting the captain, Spoon explained,

“He was looking for the legendary Amber Waves of Grain sir”

The captain retorted,

“I should have known, the Amber Waves of Grain was only folklore. How could anyone take this seriously and risk the lives of so many citizens on such a fool hardy venture?”

Yahoo said with urgency,

“Captain we are getting another transmission and I think it’s from Manicotti”

“Put it on the horn” the captain said.

“Volari Oh Oh ###### ####### Nel Blu Di Pinto Di Blu #####”

The transmission returned to static. Obviously this was an encrypted code since no one on the flight deck could recognize the message. Yahoo began deciphering the code as the captain spoke to his second in command.

“Spoon what do you make of all this?”

“If my memory serves me correctly captain, in ancient Pasta the civilization followed a dogma or teachings of Dino a philosopher. It was said this Dino was one of the original Rat Pack cultures. I believe this might be their ancient language” Said the astute Spoon.

Grabbing the encrypted data from Yahoo, Niacin left the bridge and ordered,

“Spoon, take over the bridge”

“As you wish captain” responded Spoon.

Buffalohair
_________________
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind

Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:57 am Post subject:

The children were losing their taste for Spoon Size Shredded Wheat.
Now that they were being blamed for it being found every where around the house.

Someone was also taking toys out of their special collections but who?

Let’s go out to the barn and hunt for some eggs for breakfast! Sounds like a fine breakfast to us everyone said! So off they went …..

Coming back with their bounty, the littlest one ran ahead and as he opened the back door he yelled out in surprise! Things came sailing through the air over his head! Hey, they were their motorized airplanes!

What the heck was going on! Suddenly they hear one of the older boys rocket going off!!!!!!!! Oh no!!!!!!!!!!

Their Mother had just come in from the gardens and saw most of what happened. She could not believe her own eyes!

They needed some serious help with what ever was happening here. Who would believe them? As she was now realizing it was not the children doing all these strange things/ happenings that were occurring. Someone was playing all right but whom and why?

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