Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 12:17 pm    Post subject:


Well, I’m pissed off, again. No big deal but let me tell you a story. Been banking at this particular bank for years, ever since I went legit so the dough-ray-me was clean. I went to the teller to deposit a check I’ve received. I signed it and gave her the deposit slip. She read the deposit and check then looked me up and down with a scowl I remember from my youth. Then she began to drill me about my identification. I was completely taken back as I found myself struggling to identify myself to this gal.

Fumbling around with my wallet and thinking of other sources of ID I could muster, I caught myself. Then I thought, “What the hell am I doing?” I stopped in my tracks and told this Hitler Hag of a teller, “Give me my check back” You would have thought I had a gun pointed to her head. Her eyes got big and she took off to get a bank officer. What the hell did I do now??

I left the line and went and sat down near the hall. Then I head some yapping as two people approached the main lobby. It was that pinhead teller and the bank president. This gal was yapping a million miles a second. She KNEW there was something fishy about the check I presenting, she KNEW I was one of them dirty so and so’s, she KNEW I was some dangerous thug and she KNEW because I fit a profile. The bank prez just listened as she ran her mouth. I was public enemy number one again. How special.

When I heard enough, I stood up from the lounge area of the bank to meet them head on. Then with a wry smile I greeted them. The teller knew I heard everything she was saying so did the prez. I said, “Hey Ralph” The bank prez said, “Hey Carlos” sheepishly I might add. Though the teller was already white, she turned a few shades whiter. The bank prez introduced her to me as we stood awkwardly in the hallway. The look on her face was to die for. Then I told the prez I wanted to close my account and I wanted it all in cash.

Now the bank prez was as white as a ghost. If looks could kill, I know his glare to the teller was most venomous indeed. His hands were beginning to shake as he held my check. What a precious moment of silence it was. The teller had that “farted in elevator” look. I was struggling to maintain my stoic serious demeanor. I looked directly at the prez and said, “Cash” I turned away snatching up my check then I left the bank.

Hmmmm, that was about a half hour ago. The phone is ringing off the hook. I just love Mr. Answer Machine. I have several “Misunderstanding” messages from the prez and I just received one from the teller who made this all possible. I bet her tongue was bleeding from biting it. She was far from sincere. The need for employment was more her impetus I do believe.

I know, this is very petty of me to drag this issue out like I’ve done. But I know my ethnicity was the primary issue for this gal. And I’ll bet she’s been doling out her special kind of hatred to others as well. So the buck stops here eh.

Most likely I’ll check my sugar and find it at about 70, eat a Snickers bar and go for a ride in the mountains. It’s way bitchen outside today. It’s in the late 40’s now and might get into the 60’s. But up in the high country it’s still in the teens or better. So I better take a coat just in case. People die in the Rockies if they don’t come prepared. It’s like Alaska in a way, when you hit the woods or wilderness areas here, it’s truly wilderness. In Alaska, Canada and Colorado, the bears will eat you if you screw around. In Colorado, we also have big kitties that enjoy munching on high cholesterol and tryglyceride filled walking sandwiches called man. Speaking of which, I better take some elk jerky. I make it in several tastes to, traditional, peppered, chillied and a secret one that’s to good to share eh.

Yeah that’s the ticket, I’ll cruise the woods and do some tracking or just enjoy the views. LOL, the phone is ringing again. Yup, it’s the bank.

I should thank them for inspiring me to venture forth tasting the bounty nature has to offer. To cast aside my worldly torment and focus on true reality. Cleansing my soul of petty human rancor while reinvigorating my all with a new zest for life. Pondering ever so deeply, the plight of mankind, the universe and the totality of my existence.

But alas, color had become a focal point to my chagrin. So the class struggle prevails regardless which guise it may assume within society. According to watchdog groups, right wing extremist groups such as the KKK and the Nazi Party are bursting at the seams with enrollments not seen since the early 20th century when the rolls were in the millions in the US alone. Remember Hitler’s rise to power, 1933 and the anti movements as well as racial hate organizations supported by the government. Jews were the destruction of the economy back then. The whole world turned a deaf ear to human suffering.

I did notice a color that does transcend cultural bounds though. Sure looks like the color green manages to get everyone’s attention. Like I always say, “It’s all about the money” So this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to finish up here on the puter, call the bank and demand my money half in 20’s and half in Bengie’s. That ought to get them going for a while. Then while all this chaos is going on, I’ll be enjoying the green of the forest, drinking a Kona with an extra shot of caffeine. Maybe I’ll murder a fuzzy little creator and eat it.

I can almost smell the scent of pine as it blends with the aromatic fragrace of my Hawiian due. Ah yes, and Hoppity Hooper roasting on the spit. Better take the garlic salt.

Your Devil’s Advocate
Creativity is the byproduct of a fertile mind